Anal sex has long been a no-go for columnist Mascha. But now she wants to know it again and has asked three anal sex fans: How do you prepare, which positions are great - and how do you relax the damn sphincter?
Anal sex and I - let's say it's complicated. Maybe it's a bit like my care horse back then: it accidentally ran into the electric fence, it hurt, after that it was afraid and became restless when it saw the evil fence from a distance. My first experience with anal sex was similar: my first friend and I had standing sex, he slipped or got out of me, but was still in full swing and accidentally rammed his cock into my butt in the next movement. My legs almost sank in pain - and I was served. And even later attempts to gain something from the topic of anal sex failed due to my cramp and the impatience of the male participant. But: I have not yet ticked off the topic. That would be a shame. And that's why asked three people who are either already real full-time professionals or who have just discovered their desire for pop sex. A woman and two men, one preferred bottom, the other preferred top - after all, the active part must also have a say.
Anal sex: tips from the active part
Timo *, 32: “I have sex with men and I'm usually top, so the active part. Basically, it is important for good anal sex that both sides can relax - but above all, of course, the bottom part. If the sphincter is tense, it will hurt. There are a few guys who want you to get their cock penetrated right away. I don't know how they do it. But generally only very few immediately open both gullwing doors and call "walk in". Taking time is important. And I always try to create a pleasant atmosphere even with men I only meet for sex.
I think rimming is great as a prelude. Because if you lick your partner's ass, you quickly notice when the muscles relax, and everything gets nice and humid. Feeling carefully with your finger is also possible, but not everyone likes that. Here is also a crucial moment: Most guys are prepared accordingly, but it can also happen that you suddenly have suspicious brown traces under your fingernail - then there is obviously still a need for action at the bottom. Because a poop spectacle is rather special interest. And then you just say "you, here is a towel, maybe go to the toilet again, no hurry." That rarely happens, but it is possible. Communication and basic trust are all the more important, because such a situation can of course be very uncomfortable.
When both are ready, most like to take it easy, want to get started in porn steam engine fashion - or can - few do. It is usually most trustful when the passive part sits on me. Then he can determine the pace and intensity with his body movement. Gradually you can get to the point more quickly if everything goes well. And: Sometimes spit is enough, but mostly I use lubricant, in addition to the condom - this is of course always required for anal sex with men whose status I do not know.
Anal expertise from a bottom man
Marco *, 31: I am versatile, sometimes top, sometimes bottom, but at the moment I prefer bottom. If I know I want to have anal sex, I like to use a butt plug an hour or two beforehand. Then everything is stretched nicely, that definitely makes a difference. Preparation is great, but sometimes you want to have anal sex spontaneously. Then the atmosphere and my own mood is decisive. Whether at home or in the club, I have to feel good, have a certain trust in the other man - and of course the degree of my own lust is also decisive. If you feel that it does not feel good and you are tense, you should leave it. Then it won't be fun.
As for the position: some bottoms like to sit on the partner at the beginning, but I don't find that ideal. If you squat more or less on the other, you are in control, but you also have to put a lot of effort into your legs. I find it comfortable to lie on your stomach, then you can fully relax your muscles. I also love the classic doggy position. Then it is important to clearly communicate to the partner that he should start slowly. Anyway, talking to each other is a good idea to avoid misunderstandings and therefore pain. "
Anal sex tips from a woman who learned to love it
Lavinia *, 36: “Up to the age of 35 I had no fun with anal sex and also no partners who knew how to make it a nice experience. Now I've become a real fan. On the subject of preparation: If you know you want to have anal sex, you can of course prepare yourself and, above all, go to the toilet beforehand. But actually I think it's good when it happens spontaneously during sex. In my opinion, it is important how the partner deals, then it doesn't really matter how well prepared you are.
In the course of foreplay or during vaginal sex, the woman usually becomes so moist that the man can start massaging the anus with a damp finger. Ideally with the middle finger, because it can penetrate particularly deep later, while the thumb and index finger can stimulate the clitoris in parallel. It is important to massage the anus with your finger until the sphincter has got used to the feeling and gradually loosens itself. Then the finger can slowly penetrate, and once it is in, it can usually go deeper without any problems. Because the touch deep inside creates even more pleasure.
At some point it will be the turn of the penis. As for the position: In my opinion, doggy style, i.e. on your knees, is more for professionals. I can't relax my abdomen. I prefer to lie on my stomach and the man is above me and slowly pushes the penis into my buttocks. I also like the spoon position. If you have strength in your legs, you can also squat on the man. Then the tail can penetrate very deeply and at the same time as a woman you have control over the movements. Basically: trust and a lot of time is essential, especially for beginners of anal sex.
And another important note, which men in particular often do not have on the screen: Never use the same finger in the anal area and on the vagina, because the intestinal bacteria can promote infections or cystitis. So always strictly separate: one hand or one finger only for the buttocks, the other fingers for the vagina. "
Anal sex: some differences, many similarities
You can tell from the experiences of these clever people: Of course, the needs and preferences of anal sex are also individual. But there are also similarities that can be hung over the bed as golden rules. A basic trust is important, also with sex acquaintances, just like communication and with a pinch of humor - because such an ass is a special part of the body. And, it sounds like it all: time. Just get in and out quickly, that obviously only works in the rarest of cases and with said "double doors" full professionals. Nothing works with pressure, I know that from my own experience. A friend's sentence, with whom I also recently spoke about anal sex, sums it up nicely: every asshole needs time to relax.
And hey, of course anal sex is always a matter of taste. Some just don't like it when someone or something walks in through the back door, whether it's slipping well or not. So relax. Either way.
Good thing I asked about it.